I never realized how hard it would be
to wake up every day knowing you are going to give and putting a name to that gift.
So much giving comes naturally to me, I thought.
But some days I do not feel inspired
Some days I am drained
confused
hurting
failing
and hiding inside myself.
Last night I received some criticism about my parenting style.
From one of my kids.
I don't mind the criticism exactly but the hypocrisy bugs me a lot.
And I don't care for dealing with judgmental people...
even if they are my own :-)
I am glad that life is so black and white for them. It will not always be so - especially as they deal with their children :-)
But at any rate
I am not feeling like giving.
It is hard to think of something to give when you are healing your own wounds.
So my gift is my silence. I will not engage.
I will not defend my actions. Because I have thought them through and made my own choices. Because I can.
Time will be my ally
I will heal.
My critic will continue to age and learn.
And life will go on.
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