When is too nice not nice? Accountability

I like to think of myself as a nice person.

For the most part, I give others the benefit of the doubt.  I am too nice.

I don't like confrontations.

I don't like to make people mad.... or upset them.  I care about what other people think and feel.

Or do I?

If you do something to upset me, often I will do nothing... because I don't want to upset YOU.   For the most part, that is okay.... there is no need to address every infraction.

But what if you promise to do something and you don't get there.  I mean, it happens to all of us at one time or another. 

IF I say... it's okay.... you SHOULD be able to believe me.

But what if it's NOT okay?  What if,,, THIS time...  it really inconvenienced me?

And I still don't want to address it with you because I don't want to upset you.  So I stay upset....

And I HAVE to talk to SOMEbody... so I choose the closest person to dump on....I mean, this is a friend too and won't tell anybody else...  and explain the situation... so THEY know that I am upset.... that YOU are at fault.... and that I am blameless (a victim).

What then?

Am I still nice?  Too nice to make you be accountable for your actions?  Too nice to let you know how I really feel?

Am I leaving you wandering around clueless that you have really upset me?  How HURT (upset) are you going to be when you find out what happened?  Because you will.... secrets NEVER stay secrets..

Am I assuming a greater importance by becoming your victim?  Absolutely!  And it's compounded by the fact that you don't even know what happened!  THAT is MY fault...

I think I am not so nice after all.  I think I just created a greater problem in our relationship than YOU did.  You screwed up.... I wasn't honest and maligned you to somebody else.

And I thought I was the good guy in this....

but being TOO nice is not nice after all...