Saturday, January 13, 2018

Jan 12, 2018 Ramblings

A quiet day.... did get my fruit & tea and exercises in - go me!

And some work on the Christmas clean up - will I get it all finished this weekend?  I hope so!!  The snow kept me from getting help moving boxes... and now rain... so I don't know :-)

I didn't have to go to work til 2 but worked until 9 so it was a long day....  my boss texted me early to clarify a last day.... but I was pretty shocked - no maybe surprised is better..... to see my job posted on the company site this afternoon.  The ink was barely dry on the printer!
   Well - not really - the letter has been written for a few weeks.... but the actual handing it in - well, it hasn't been 24 hours.  Okay then...  let's go!

I've only told my 2 immediate co-workers - and plan to keep it that way.  My town is small and the news will get around quick enough.  I don't want to talk about it.  There is a TON of negativity surrounding the job I have..... but I actually LOVE the job.  I just can't handle the drama in my life on a consistent basis.  Anyway - I absolutely do not want to leave in a negative light because I want them to use me to substitute.  So - the less I have to talk about it - the better life will be for me.  I'm too honest anyway and it intimidates people.  I have the power to shed light on situations - which is sometimes negative.... all people cannot handle my brand of truth!

One good thing about being an abuse survivor is that I must have truth.  I am not afraid of truth.  I can handle bad - even about me.  I CANNOT handle the imaginary unsaid stuff that swirls around in my head when you are not truthful with me.  I have found that what I dream or imagine is a million times worse than actual truth..... 

And THAT, my friends, is one of the reasons I had to leave.

AND the absolute waste of my time.  My title is senior assistant.  My boss doesn't want that.  No collaboration, no responsibility, micromanaging of simple tasks, no training to progress.....  just directives and reprimands if I do anything - ANYTHING - I am not told to do.  So... yeah... at least 10 hours per week with nothing to do.  When I have things to do at home.  Not efficient at all.

Definitely looking forward to the weekend.... and my crafting projects.  I am still spending way more time resting with my foot up than I like - but am working my brain around to figuring out a way to exercise without my right foot! 

Wish me luck - or send me ideas!

Friday, January 12, 2018

Ramblings Jan 11, 2018

Well... I did it.

I resigned from my job.

And I have mixed emotions that I have not shared here - I do have several unpublished posts from the last 6 months as I wrestled with the decision because I LOVE most of my job.  But the actual work does not fit the job description and does not fit my work-life balance.  It has too many restrictions on my life for the benefit it brings.  Period.

And the emotional roller coaster of juggling the mixed messages and lack of communication with bosses - no, I won't miss that.  My life will be better having shed that part.

I will miss the people though.  Working at the library gave a shape to my days and provided me with a place where people were happy to see me - and I kept up with the town news.  I will have to find a way to replace that.

I feel oddly light - I was dreading the conversation but it was sort of anti-climactic.  Maybe they were waiting for me to go.   No clue - but anyway - it's onward and upward and gratitude for the opportunity.... and gratitude for what's next!