Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Not Really Pollyanna...

I have often been accused of being Pollyanna..... of putting a good face on things... of being unrealistic and sugar-coating life...

But I don't think that's exactly true.

I see myself as a realist.  I was fairly clueless and naive when I was much younger.. this is true....  But no one lives to this side of 40... 50.... and sustains that rosy view of life without a lot of work :-)  No one escapes hardship, heartache, pain..... no one misses the turmoil in the world....  well, maybe the fortunate few who can live in a bubble..

But I've never lived in a bubble.   I know there's pain in the world.  I've had my own share of destroyed dreams and tragedies.  I struggle daily with depression... with gray skies and gloomy forecasts.... 

I made a choice to look for the good in life and in people.

I know - it's not that simple.  But life isn't supposed to be simple.  Where's the opportunity in SIMPLE?  Life is a puzzle to be figured out - and sometimes my mood is dependent on vitamin D and walks in the sunshine.  But my mood and my attitude are different things!

My mood?  I have SOME control... with exercise, vitamins, eating well (or not!)... but, to me - my mood is like my sore feet.  I have SOME control... but not always and not consistently!  It's part of me to deal with - NOT your issue unless you are stuck with me for a long time :-)  But my mood is how I FEEL and my feelings are valid - no matter what they are.  I have limited control over that..... though if we get into a discussion about the habits of positive thinking, you will see that you have more control than you think you have :-)

My attitude?  This is not how I FEEL... this is how I ACT!  Totally my choice!  I want to be supportive, uplifting, a positive influence on my own life (and yours!)  I want to be content, happy, pleased... all the positive emotions... and the best control I have over this is to control my own thoughts. 

It is ME that decides whether to stew over past hurts and go over injuries incident by incident.. (causing myself even MORE grief over things I never understood in the first place)............ or whether to examine them like I would ask my best friend to do for self-improvement purposes and then box them up and put them aside.  (I tend to mentally box them up and put a time stamp on them... if I leave them alone for that time period, I pull out the box and THROW IT AWAY)

It is ME that chooses to (or NOT) berate myself for weight re-gained, tasks not completed, dreams unfulfilled.... (mind you, I would NEVER berate a friend the way I berate MYSELF) and it is ME that chooses to decide if these things are truly important and what I am going to do about them.

It is ME that sees consistent failure and chooses to either beat myself up OR decide if those are failures or not - or WHY they are failures and what I can do about it?

And it is ME that must recognize my successes.  Maybe I didn't lose weight - but if I am consistently eating more vegetables, then I am a winner.   Staying on the road will get you to your destination eventually.

That is my attitude - to live my life on purpose.  To CHOOSE how I act. 

I also firmly believe that anyone with a public platform (which in my mind goes far beyond the media microphone.. well into blogging, FB statuses, public opinionating (yes, I know I made this word up), etc) has a MORAL RESPONSIBILITY not to foment discontent.  I'm not evading issues.... but I'm not creating issues either - nor am I deliberately creating HURT in YOUR heart!

So, my CHOICE is to take in information... and think about it before I start talking.  I have a real issue with people not being able to step back and be realistic.  So much of our media is full of people pointing fingers and treating others as if they were evil.... and I'm not sure we can blame the media for telecasting what we hear someone else say.

I do not believe - for the most part - that people mean ill toward one another.  I believe strongly that most of us want good things for each other.  I also believe strongly that we all have widely differing ways to go about things - even if we agree on the endpoint.  I am always comforted when my husband and I come to the same conclusion because I know for a fact that we are coming from opposite places in our thinking...

I believe that my responsibility here on the internet AND in my life.... is to help motivate you to live your best life.... to help YOU see the good that I have trained myself to find.... and to feel that life is good. 

You do have more control than you think (even when life is whipping you around right now :-)

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