And more magic for Day 2....
I woke up grumpy - you know those days where the tears are right behind your eyes?
I refuse to give my days to that emotion any more. Not this year - not again.
Mind you, I have no problem recognizing, expressing, and dealing with emotions. I DO need to FEEL them rather than EAT them or DRINK them or SPEW them out on the people around me... but that is another story. I am choosing to sit with my discomfort until I sort it out - so.. the tears were behind my eyes for no good reason that I could discern. Just there. And I had a choice....
Move forward into the day's plans
or stay home and hide.
The sun is out, I have no obvious crisis... and my life would be complicated if I stayed home.
So I went
But I did get an hour's work done on my church project. Me, by myself, working to Christmas carols. Okay, I skipped church but God was with me so I am good.
AND I got to meet with my daughter and granddaughter who brought me birthday greetings and a HUGE labor of love! My 4 year old granddaughter had made me several gifts...... wrapped them herself..... and my daughter had patiently allowed all that use of paper and tape... and brought her to meet me!
How magic is that?
Sometimes the tears are just THERE. All that love, more Vitamin D, a walk in the fresh air when I got home, some affirmations from a coach, all things I did for ME to make me feel better - and I still managed to get on with my life yesterday.
Holidays just hurt. They are frenetic times of expectations and emotions. Sometimes just skating through whole is the biggest goal. There have been a few time in my life when the planets align and a moment is 'just right' during the holidays. But usually, they are a complete terror for me and I am OH SO GLAD when they are over.
THIS year... I will work every day - to find the magic. To be good to ME. To do what I can to keep my peace of mind. Deadlines for holiday chores.... simplify gifting..... use what I want of the decorations and GET RID OF THE EXCESS.... [I DO have a plan - I simply cannot toss much while I am doing my annual reminiscing.... so I am packing what I am not using separately and marking it to review during the summer!]
AND I keep seeing the MAGIC smiles on my daughter's and granddaughter's faces when I saw them today.
Life is good.