Church, what is it?

What do you think of when you hear the word CHURCH?

A place you to go worship?

A group of family and friends?

A relationship?

An obligation?

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I struggle with this one.

I do not feel a real obligation - but I do feel a need inside

I want a place to go to worship with others

I want a special time set aside to gather.

I want an extended group of people I feel safe with - that are part of my everyday life.

I want something my husband and I can do together

The religion I was raised in is a culture as much as a religion.  ('Religion' is not the same as 'church' so I am leaving that out of the discussion as much as possible)

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I want a regular opportunity to be inspired.

I want a regular opportunity to be served.

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And much of this I have already.

But not at a church.

The church I belong to is more than 30 miles away from my home.

None of the friends I have there are in my daily life.  They are important friends - don't get me wrong - but they are once a week 'meet at church' friends - 'keep in touch by Facebook' friends - not 'stop by for a cuppa' friends.

My husband does not go to church though he will accompany me now and again.   He is not exactly social though he does like people in small doses.

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One of the last ties to my church is being cut today.

And I am conflicted.  There are lots of options (including other churches / religions)

Sometimes I think my answer lies in a little more social lifestyle - which will happen when we move closer to a town.  Closer proximity to friends might mean I see them more.  And then I vacillate.. there are friends and churches here in the country too.... I just haven't explored that avenue due to my culture.

But today, I am not sure about the worth of the emotional investment to continue this particular relationship with this particular church -

But I am nervous about losing the contact and finding out what is next.