Monday, June 20, 2011

When is too nice not nice? Confrontations

I like to think of myself as a nice person.

For the most part, I give others the benefit of the doubt.

I don't like confrontations.

I don't like to make people mad.... or upset them.  I care about what other people think and feel.

Or do I?

If I avoid a topic that MIGHT be a problem for you, what does that say about the way I feel about you?  Does it say that I care about you and don't want to hurt your feelings?

Or does it say that I don't trust your mood or reaction?

If I don't tell you how I feel about something, what does that say about our relationship?  Does it say that my feelings don't matter and yours do?

Or does it say that I'd rather simmer in my own disappointment than deal with you?

Doesn't it also set you up?  I mean, if YOU don't know how I feel.... isn't it likely that you will accidentally hurt me?  You have no clue.  Unknowingly, unnecessarily, you will cause me pain..... and I orchestrated the situation by not being honest.


NOT telling you how I feel..... NOT confronting you when I disagree..... puts a rift in our relationship.

I don't think that's very nice of me.

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