Solo Act

The 3 hour drive to the beach was absolutely beautiful!  Sun shining.... normal traffic..... music blaring..... great road trip adventure!  Of course, my family comes here often so I know the route like the back of my hand... this location is like a second home to me

I arrived in 4 hours... because I stopped to pick up something for dinner & breakfast.  I unloaded the car and popped down to the beach.  BRRR!  Though the sun was shining, the wind was bitter so I beat a hasty retreat back to the condo.  I spent a quiet evening working on my online course, some crocheting and a long hot bubble bath with my current novel :-)  Nothing very exciting, I am afraid.... but just right for me.  The noises of the building put me a little on edge... just because I was alone... but it was good for me.

I woke early, spent some time on the computer (DUH) and worked on my crocheting (another DUH)  I can't seem to help myself :-)  Doing some of the same things that you usually do does help to keep you in balance.

I had decided before I came to the beach that I would take one of the days & take a LONG walk to make sure I was in good shape for my half marathon in a couple of weeks.  I left a little later than I intended because I got a phone call from my sick friend (that I think you prayer warriors know about - thanks again.. keep praying!)

Initially I thought I would set 12 miles as a goal.... 6 mileposts from the condo out and then back with lunch on the way somewhere.   But then I started moving.... my kickboxing class on Saturday left me a little bit (no - a LOT) sore.... so I decided that 5 miles out (10 total) would be far enough!   Mile markers were every half mile and I was definitely counting them.... up to 4.5.   And then I kept going and going.... and GOING!  I had just about decided to turn around when I saw the green marker in the distance.... so I kept going to get to it.... and the darned thing said SIX!   For SURE I turned around right then.. and headed back.

I stopped for lunch at about 9 miles and rested for a bit while I ate and drank.  I know the server must have thought I was a camel... with all I drank but with those miles, it is easy to get dehydrated.  Anyway, God played a trick on me and I got the 12 miles in after all... but I have to tell you... I am SORE now!  Swollen hands, swollen feet and really sweaty... but super confident about the half marathon now!

One thing about being alone is that you get a lot of time to think.... sometimes a good thing, sometimes not so good.  But one thing I thought about is WHY it is so hard to make changes, even little ones.  And one thing I came up with is that, as a mom, changes do not just affect me.  ANY change I go through, willingly or not, affects other people.  Even something mundane like getting my hair done.. takes time away from somebody.  And big things like changing diet or adding exercise (or running away from home) affect family members even more..... just like THEIR changes affect US.

But somehow we have guilt for upsetting their routines.  And it is good to take care of others.  But I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in it that we end up stifling EVERYbody, including that part of ourselves that needs growth (and change!)  And then we get resentful....... and then we blame.... but I like honesty.  And being honest means that I have to admit that my ROLE as mom gives me security.  Without my ROLE, I'm not sure who I am.  And THAT, my friends, is not healthy.   So this realization is something to ponder.... and I guess, another part of the journey!

Kay :-)

Exciting news!  I have a high school friend that I have been trying to get together with for a long time now.... and last night I invited her to come join me.  She called me up a little bit ago and will come tomorrow.. so more fun!   So my solitude will end.... but a different chapter begins :-)

Signing off from a quiet evening at the beach....